Jerry Lawler Net Worth

#Quote1[on seeing Shawn Michaels defeating Bret Hart in Montreal]: I was as shocked as Bret Hart was, but I was not quite as upset!2(about the Spirit Squad) These guys have a future in delivering pizzas.3"I don't think Victoria has been right since that house fell on her sister (referring to The Wizard of Oz (1939)).4(After losing the "Kiss My Foot Match" to Bret Hart at the 1995 King of the Ring) "Bret Hart, I have to admit it, your feet are the smelliest there is, the smelliest there was, and the smelliest there ever will be!"5(Referring to Stacy Keibler dancing on the commentators' desk) "All these curves, and no brakes!"6When most people get drunk, they see snakes. But, when snakes get drunk, they see Jake Roberts!7(When asked if he was an "ass man"): "Well I must be, because everywhere I go people say, 'you're an ass, man!'"8(talking to Michael Coulthard (aka "Michael Cole") "Your proctologist called, he said he found your head".9(Gold medalist Kurt Angle asked the Canadian wrestler, Chris Benoit, if he's such a good wrestler, where are his gold medals?) "Canada never wins any medals!"10You know what they say in Arkansas...manure happens.11You know what they call a good looking girl in Philadelphia...a tourist.12There goes Matt Hardy! Go Matt! ...Oh wait a minute, I'm rooting for the Dudleys...somebody stop Matt!13(about Crash Holly) "Crash is so short, you can see his feet on his driver's licence photo!"14The only reason why Taka Michinoku is here in this country is because there are too many people in Japan.15(about the Legion of Doom) "The older they get, the better they were."16The only reason I lost to Aldo Montoya was the intoxicating fumes there were coming off his body from being around Jake Roberts.17(about Goldust) "He's twisted, perverted... he's sick. Normally, I like that in a person, but..."18I couldn't warm up to Andy Kaufman if we were cremated together.19She's had more hands on her than a doorknob.20(to Michael Cole) "She's not your type. She's not inflatable."21(about Mark Henry) "Look at the lips on that guy, he could french kiss a moose."22Women should be ob-scene and not heard.23(about the Blue Meanie) "He's the reason for separate beds."24(about the Fabulous Moolah) "She was a waitress at the last supper."25When God said 'Let there be light', Mae Young threw the switch.26Prince Albert respects the Big Boss Man so much he'd give him the hair off his back.27(about Mae Young) "Her wrinkles have wrinkles."28If Mae Young is going to breast feed, all that baby's going to get is evaporated milk.29(to Mick Foley) "Hey Mick, where'd you get your haircut? I want to make sure I don't go there by mistake!"30Is it true that the toughest 4 years of your life was the 3rd grade?31(to Macho Man Randy Savage) "Nice outfit, did the bag lady give that to you?"32Jake 'The Snake's' two best friends are Jim Beam & Jack Daniels.33Look at Paul Bearer. Looks like somebody dropped an ugly bomb on him.34What do Jake 'The Snake' Roberts and a beer bottle have in common? They're both empty from the neck up!35(Jim Ross said his view of Vince McMahon firing Stone Cold Steve Austin) "Well, get your head out of your butt and you'd have a different view!"36[about Debra McMichael] If her skirt were any shorter, it'd be a collar!37[Jim Ross asks why Lawler keeps referring to these fans as idiots and morons] We gave them an IQ test and the results came back negative!38[Jim Ross says he has two daughters] "Not packing enough chromosomes, huh? I'm sorry Ross!39[to Vince McMahon] You're so cheap, you wouldn't even tip a canoe!40A little sex on TV never hurt anyone...unless you fall off!41I saw this guy having a drink in the bathroom before. Then the seat fell down and hit him on the head!42Hey Finkel, the last time I saw something like you, I flushed it!43I've heard of a face that could stop a clock, her face could stop Switzerland's!44I'm not saying that Stu Hart is old, but I hear that Anna Nicole Smith is asking him out on a date.45[after Vince McMahon said Road Dogg can sing as good as well as he can wrestle] Then he won't win many matches!46Vince McMahon thinks Snoop Doggy Dog belongs to Charlie Brown!47[on Alundra Blayze] She's got a million dollar body, but a ten cent face!48Yokozuna is nothing but an ingrate! If it was not for James E. Cornette, Yokozuna would still be on a beach selling shade!49[on Sable, wearing an extremely revealing outfit] I've seen more cotton on the top of an aspirin bottle!50[about a ringside fan on camera] He can pick up cable with those ears!51This bingo hall (ECW Arena) should be built out of toilet paper because there's nothing in it but s**t!52Paul Bearer is so fat, he has his own gravitational pull!53Paul Bearer has more chins than a Chinese phone book!54[on Mankind] That guy is two fries short of a Happy Meal.55[on Ahmed Johnson] He has the IQ of 2 and it takes 3 just to grunt!56Is that Paul Bearer's face, or did his butt grow a nose?57I'm not a racist like Bret Hart, I hate everybody equally!58[Sunny comes to the ring with her chest showing] I don't know what the seven wonders of the world are, but I do know that Sunny has two of them!59[Tazz tells Lawler to say his wise cracks to his face] Tell him to come down and I will tell him how short he is to his face. If I can bend down that far!60Diesel is so stupid, he thought Hamburger Helper came with a person.61This is bad! We should call the police. What's the number for the police around here again? 911-DONUTS or something?62Cheating is only cheating when you get caught.63Mae Young is so old, when David killed Goliath, she called the cops!64Helen Hart is so old, she remembers when the Dead Sea was sick.65[a five year old girl cheering Shawn Michaels] Look at her! Now I know why animals eat their young.66Mark Henry just walked in front of me. I thought it was an eclipse!67[Jim Ross implies that Sunny is too young for Lawler] I'm not embarrassed to be seen with younger women, except when I drop them off at school.68Mabel is so huge, when he was a baby, he got baptized at Sea World!69When Sunny was in school she wasn't very good in history, but she was great on dates!70Everytime I look at Luna's face, I think she should put the bag back on.71Women! Can't live with 'em, no resale value.72[talking to Jim Ross prior to a bikini contest] Should Viagra be taken now or, it takes a little while to kick in you know? [Jim Ross says Lawler doesn't need it] "No, I'm talking about you, J.R."73[to X-Pac] If brains were chocolate, he still wouldn't fill an M&M!74[commenting on the movie Congo (1995)] I've seen better film on teeth.75[Terry Funk did a moonsault and hit his leg on the security railing] The only thing harder than Terry Funk's legs are his arteries.76[to Jim Ross] You have diarrhea of the mouth and constipation of the brain!"77Panties aren't the greatest thing in the world, but they're next to them.78I'd like to see things from your point of view JR, but I'd have to get my head out of my rear end.79[Jim Ross mentions that Lawler would be wrestling at a local event] That's right, I'll be there. You know my only regret is that I can't sit out in the audience and watch me.80[talking to Takao Yoshida about foreigners] Statistics prove that somewhere in Japan, a woman gives birth to a baby every four seconds. Now I'm going to go over there and find that woman and put a stop to it so we wouldn't have people like this coming into our country.81[Stone Cold Steve Austin says he'll knock Vince McMahon's teeth out] "I don't think they are real anyway, but I don't think McMahon wants to lose them".82[about Road Dogg] When he was in Desert Storm, he was getting shot at by both sides.83If the Japanese are so smart, why do they eat with sticks?84Andy Kaufman's mom wanted a girl, his father wanted a boy, and they were both satisfied!85You know J.R., obviously the only exercise you get is stretching the truth or jumping to conclusions.86She wants me. I can read her like a book, but I prefer the Braille edition.87[on Owen Hart running away from Stone Cold Steve Austin] Looks like Owen opened up a can of haul-ass!88[when asked if Stu Hart was betting that Owen Hart would win the match] He gave up betting after the Civil War.